Novel Whore

Just as a precautionary step, as always, readers read at your own risk. I hide nothing, I may swear, I may offend, and I may ruin some books that you may not have read…or in this case, some movies too. You are warned.

I love books. Ask Max. But not just any book. I have a hard time picking up any old book and reading it. Nicholas Sparks, I am sorry. I have tried. I love you. I love your movies, but when it comes to your books, I can’t do it. I am, as you could say, a deeper meaning book whore. I can’t just read a book. I bury myself in it. The characters become my best friends. The mentors in the books become my mentors. Their trials are mine. Their feelings are mine. Their deaths….well don’t get me started….they are traumatic…..Half Blood Prince nearly ruined my fore coming senior year of high school. My brother and I talk, debate, delve, destroy and make everything more than what it probably was meant to be. We would be EXCELLENT English teachers. So reading a book that doesn't do that to me with in the first chapter…sorry…you’re dead to me.

But, keep reading, as I am fair. I have this personal belief, and let me emphasize, PERSONAL BELIEF. Doesn't make me right, doesn't mean you are wrong. I LOVE THE USA for that reason.  I believe that if you don’t vote, you have no right to complain. I didn’t vote, so I try to hold my tongue when it comes to our current Mr. President. Now don’t get confused, as this makes sense in what my blog tonight is about.

I watched the final chapter of the Twilight Series tonight…..see I can’t even remember its true name. Why did I watch it? Well some have said it was good, others have said it wasn’t. I see BAZILLIONS of post on Pintrest making fun of it, or comparing it to Hunger Games and Harry Potter, but I couldn’t complain because I haven’t read the books. Granted, I did read the first one….grudgingly. But I read it. It was good. It was an easy read. It was fine. But I had no desire to finish it. Yet, I had seen the movie after I read it, because that is generally my rule. Read a book, before it becomes a movie…..then I was trapped. Not the good trapped, but the, well I already started, I might as well finish trapped.  I saw the first movie, then the second, third, and finally the fourth this evening. Or fifth? I can’t even remember how many there are.  ANYWAY, wow I am getting off course. I finished the series. I wasn’t up at midnight at any off them, except one, to support my cheer leader sister and her dumb fundraisers. AND I PROMISE YOU, I STRAIGHTARMED A GROWN WOMEN. She was acting IDIOTIC and pushing me to the side and I stopped, put  my arms straight out and yelled KNOCK IT OFF. She of course ran right into my arm. It was the best part of the entire show. My point is, I have now seen them, all of them, and can now REALLY bitch about them.  Kind of. WARNING. This is me complaining about the movies. I have only read the first novel. I UNDERSTAND they may be different.

Harry Potter. I am a FULL HEARTED FAN. I have an actual acceptance letter AND wand on display in my front room for the entire world to see. I almost have my second collection of books, and three copies digitally. They are in my blood. My idol, Hermione. Not because she has a boyfriend, not because she is pretty….BECAUSE SHE IS THE best role model EVER. She stands for so many lifelong lessons. And yes, I am going to list some.

1.       Love is Loyal- Hermione stood by Harry the entire time though ALL the shit he had to endure.    She is the Samwise Gamgee of the wizard world. The true hero. We can all learn from her dedication to her family and friends. No matter how hard a situation became, she was there.

2.       That you can’t Apparate in or out of the Hogwarts grounds.

3.       That looks aren’t important

4.       Status quo’s are stupid.

5.       Love. Love with all your heart.

6.       Remember the better good. Study your ass off and you will become a rock star.

7.       Sacrifice for those that you love. Seriously, what did Bella give up? She tried giving up her family, but Stephanie Myer can’t write a book that ends with anything sad….assuming the book was like the movie. Hermione gave up her ENTIRE life. Her parents, her previous life, EVERYTHING, for the better good and her best friend. I cried a lot during this part of the novel. Probably as much as I did when Dumbledore and Dobby died. It was heart breaking.

8.       That she and Samwise gamgee, Katniss Everdeen and Bolt, would be on my Zombie Apocalypse team.

She and the rest of the Harry Potter family stand for so Many things. I am struggling to put my love and devotion in words, so use this as proof.

So JK Rowling. Thank you. Thank you for showing that love conquers all, but that it was to be fought for. It doesn’t come easy, and tradgey falls. Thank you for giving us hope in all things and not making anyone sparkle in the sun.

Suzanne Collins.

Thank you . Just Thank you. All those that believe these novels are based on sadistic, child killing plots. You are wrong. You are so wrong. These books couldn’t be more filled with political puns. But beside the political issues that are involved with in these words, the Hunger games has taught us so much more than that.

1.       Family comes first. This is a duh. I like to think I would do the same. I volunteer. Love you Em.

2.       Trust what you are good at. I am not good at most, and hate Emily for all her talents. But I am good at a few things. I can cook, I am great with school aged children, and I am patient. Brag Brag Brag. But I am. Oh and I am one hell of a parent. Have you seen how well behaved my child is! He listens, obeys, cleans up after himself, AND poops in the toilet. Trust what you are good at, and go after them.

3.       Trust your feelings. Katniss had thousands of feelings. But she trusted them, thought through them. Acted as best she could based on her feelings.

4.       Fight for what is right. UM DUH. She does that pretty well I think.

5.       Smile….even if you don’t feel like it.

6.       LIFE IS ABOUT WAY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN BOYS AND CRUSHES.  The end. High School ends. Boys leave. Life goes on.

7.       Politics Matter. Stay informed. Find out facts, and not just the facts that go against the party you don’t like. Keep yourself truthfully informed, and don’t jump to conclusions.

8.       Your past doesn't have to determine your future. I love this. Is so true. I will just let you think about that.

www.gurl.com/2012/08/16/10-life-lessons-hunger-games/

So If you need to look for a great role model, that truly teaches you great things. Here you go. But I am not finished. I must list what Twilight teaches us. And I have to say, I truly tried to look for the good. It has some great aspects.

1.       Love is everything.

2.       Stick by your family through all your trials.

3.       Keep your friends close and treat them well.

4.       That’s all I can think of, but I am open to suggestions.

But what did it really teach us?

1.       You should marry an old, rich guy.

2.       Love two men at the same time and tell them both.

3.       Continue to go to high school over and over and over and over…cause high school is such a blast.

4.       Having a boyfriend is the most important thing.

5.       Treat your family and friends like dirt, just to be with your boyfriend.

6.       Lie to your parents ALL the time.

7.       If you are Liam Nesson’s Daughter, the best revenge for being taken, is to become a vampire, tattle on the Cullens, and then get your head ripped off, because you admitted to making a mistake and took personal responsibility.

So yeah, it teaches us a lot of good things.

But the thing that truly sparked my thoughts about blogging about these topics. The ending scene of the last Twilight. This huge, emasculate, bloody battle. People were dying. Good, close people….crap…I mean vampires. They were dying…..then it turns out…..it never really happened. It was just a future reading. NO ONE DIED. Well except for Liam Nesson’s daughter. Not even the bad guys were taken down. NO ONE DIED. I sound evil for saying this. And Brian thought I was pyscho as I was shouting at the screen, “Why didn’t anyone die? Serious, this is terrible writing! No one died.” I think were my exact words. Brian’s response…”well it’s a love story.”

False. It’s just terrible writing. I must say, some of the worst days I have had were as followed.

1.    . When Leslie Burke dies in Bridge to Teribetha. I was SOBBING. Absolutly SOBBING as I read this. I have never cried that much before. Not even in Les Mis.

2.       When the little boy in Les Mis, sacrificed his life and was singing as he crawled out of the bunker. I LOST IT. COMPLETELY LOST IT.

3.       When Dumbledore dies….and never comes back. I was at a point where I didn’t believe it. I knew he was coming back. It couldn’t be true. This man was my third grandfather. The man I look to for life advice. He can’t be gone. He can’t be out of my life.

4.       When Dobby dies. Seriously. If you didn’t cry, you have no soul.

5.       And of course….when Prim dies. Enough said.

Of course there are so many more deaths in novels that touch and reach us. But these five. These five were my family. I loved them as much. I related to them. They were my family. And these authors killed them. Why? Why would they do that?

TO MAKE THE NOVEL HIT YOUR HEART. That’s what a good novel should do. It should tear you inside and out as you read it. You should see your own life in them. You live and breathe for the characters.  The authors of these novels create a sense of family, and trials that you struggle with  and they throw even more emotion into your life, by killing these characters. Not to ruin your sense of hope, but to make them real. They are as real as you are. They die. They aren’t immortal. Stephanie Myer doesn’t have the balls to throw that emotion into your hearts. The only emotion she gives you, is horny. Great lesson. Thank you for your contribution to education and life purpose.

Thanks for reading. It was mega long and I am sorry. I am sorry if I offended you. The Twilight series is great for those that want to escape reality and read something cheesy and easy. But if you want to be affected, and lose your heart in what your read, don’t try these….at least based on the movies.

Tada.